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I’m hopeful conservatives staging tea parties captured the moment on camera. The vision of pissed off patriots tea bagging in protest over Obama’s dastardly stimulus plan dips awful damn close to briny genius. What could demonstrate symbolic objection more sincerely than slurping a spicy ‘tea’ ball or two? Ah, Snerdly has informed me that adult ‘tea parties’ and ‘tea bagging’ are not necessarily synonymous. Hmm, this explains Joe the Plumber’s disinterest -- and my strained relations with the neighbor lady. Its doubtful Hallmark has a card that could pacify this specific social faux pas with warm, fuzzy verse.
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Dear Tammy,

Terribly sorry about the ‘incident’. Had you invited me over for coffee, then the likelihood that I’d have dropped ‘trou’ in your kitchen is fifty-fifty. But when you said, “Come over for a little tea party“, I obviously misinterpreted your intent. Without going into detail, I thought you had something entirely different in mind. Needless to say, the frantic brouhaha that erupted was not what I expected.

Here’s the funny thing: I thought you were the nut!

Please except my apology for any emotional duress and damage to your sliding glass door.

And thank you for not calling the police. My relationship with Palm Beach’s finest is tenuous enough without an indecent exposure charge added to their lengthy shit list.

Let’s do lunch sometime…on me.

Rush
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